


Never Unwanted

by AristocatSlippers



Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-18 01:08:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20630576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AristocatSlippers/pseuds/AristocatSlippers
Summary: Natsume stiffens at this, pressing his fingernails further into his palm until he draws blood and once again averting his gaze, “Ah, I’m... just a burden... aren’t I?” He asks in a small voice, as stoic-faced as he can be though he edges closer to hyperventilating again, “I shouldn’t have come.”Shuuichi curses under his breath and shakes his head feverishly, “No, Natsume listen, you’re not a burden at all. I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant.” Shuuichi rushes to get the words out, swallowing the growing lump in his throat, this isn’t right, the way this kid is so scared of being unwanted, “I wouldn’t bring you along if you weren’t helpful, and-and I like your company. Having you around me, it’s like… it’s like having a younger brother.”“It’s… It’s alright, Natori-san,” Natsume tells him, shrugging off the hand on his shoulder and pressing himself against the wall, it’s like his legs give out beneath him - the way he sinks to the ground and rests his head in his arms atop his knees, “It’s not your fault, I’ve always been useless and trouble. It’s not your fault.”-A request fill from my tumblr of Natori calming Natsume from a panic attack





	Never Unwanted

The yokai he is chasing escapes with a loud bang and a spray of shattered glass, Shuuichi rushes to follow it, sprinting down the long hallways of the old mansion on his own. Shuuichi pauses, turning on his heel when he hears only his own footsteps and not another set right behind him. He pulls out a paper doll from his pocket, blowing on it lightly until it flies off on its own to tail the ayakashi, Shuuichi sends his shiki, Hiiragi, along with it, then focuses his attention on the kid he’d brought with him with concern.

Natsume is rooted to the spot where the glass shattered, sharp shards surrounding him. He's stood ramrod straight with a look of frozen panic on his face and breathing heavily; despite the cuts that cover his skin, Natsume doesn't move or try to touch them at all, instead tightly clenching his fists by his side as he digs his nails in and blinks furiously. Shuuichi sees it for what it is in a moment, carefully approaching the kid and trying not to stress him any further.

He walks slowly, keeping his footsteps as quiet as he can and gently murmuring assurances, "It's okay Natsume, you're alright," Shuuichi says, reaching for Natsume's shoulder and lightly squeezing when he's close enough.

Natsume flinches at the touch as if he doesn't recognise who's speaking to him as someone not to be scared of. Shuuichi winces. It's his fault for bringing him here and now look at him. Natsume is just a kid, not an adult and certainly not grown up enough to be his assistant, Shuuichi forgets that sometimes. He shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t. 

“Yeah, I’m-I’m okay,” Natsume stutters, facing the ground and stumbling over his words - he’ll look anywhere but Shuuichi’s face.

Shuuichi crouches slightly, getting low enough to look Natsume in the face and keeping a hand gripped on his shoulder, Shuuichi smiles calmingly, comforting - he hopes - and Natsume stares blankly back at him. “It’s okay if you want to go home Natsume,” Shuuichi tells him. Some of the tension drains from Natsume’s shoulders at his words, so he continues, “I’ll be just fine here without you. Maybe better, even, since it’ll only be me that it’s targeting.”

Natsume stiffens at this, pressing his fingernails further into his palm until he draws blood and once again averting his gaze, “Ah, I’m... just a burden... aren’t I?” He asks in a small voice, as stoic-faced as he can be though he edges closer to hyperventilating again, “I shouldn’t have come.”

Shuuichi curses under his breath and shakes his head feverishly, “No, Natsume listen, you’re not a burden at all. I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant.” Shuuichi rushes to get the words out, swallowing the growing lump in his throat, this isn’t right, the way this kid is so scared of being unwanted, “I wouldn’t bring you along if you weren’t helpful, and-and I like your company. Having you around me, it’s like… it’s like having a younger brother.”

“It’s… It’s alright, Natori-san,” Natsume tells him, shrugging off the hand on his shoulder and pressing himself against the wall, it’s like his legs give out beneath him - the way he sinks to the ground and rests his head in his arms atop his knees, “It’s not your fault, I’ve always been useless and trouble. It’s not your fault.” Natsume curls in on himself, shaking and muttering softly - whether to him or his self, Shuuichi can’t tell. 

Shuuichi frowns, seeing Natsume sob and cry all the while trying not to make a sound. Natsume shouldn’t have to cry uncomforted. 

Sitting himself cross-legged in front of Natsume, Shuuichi searches all of his pockets for a moment, eventually coming across the box of plasters he keeps on him during exorcist jobs in the inner pocket of his coat. Carefully, he takes hold of Natsume’s hands pulling them towards him and uncurling his fists with a plaster at the ready, “Come here,” Shuuichi says softly as Natsume lifts his tear stained face upwards, still shaking, “Your hands, they’re bleeding.”

Natsume glances down at them, surprised, like he’d only just noticed he’d hurt himself. Shuuichi offers a plaster with a wry smile and Natsume accepts, holding out his palms for Shuuichi to apply it and trying not to move too much. When he’s done, Shuuichi returns Natsume’s hands to the tops of his knees and leans back, looking just slightly away as Natsume dries his eyes. Shuuichi thinks he appreciates it, not being watched.

“Do you want to know something Natsume? You’ll never be a burden, not to me,” Shuuichi reassures him without a hint of embarrassment, “To me you’re a younger brother. I’ve never had a little brother before, you know, it’s fun, so I’m glad you’re around and that I brought you along. You’re not trouble, and even if you were, that’s what younger brothers are for. And older brothers are for getting you out of trouble.” Shuuichi adds, shuffling himself to sit beside Natsume, he wraps an arm around him and Natsume rests his head on Shuuichi’s shoulder. Shuuichi glances at him, puffy eyed and tired and decides not to mention it. “And to Touko-san and Shigeru-san too, you’re their son, I know they’re glad you came to them too. So are your friends. I know not a single one of them thinks you’re a burden.”

Natsume presses his face into Shuuichi’s shoulder a little harder, sniffling and shivering with sobs once again, Shuuichi simply tightens his grip and squeezes; his shirt is wet, but Shuuichi doesn’t care, sometimes you just have to cry it out to feel better. He hopes Natsume feels better.

“Thank you,” Natsume says after a long silence, when he’s finally calmed enough to breathe again, “Thanks for… for being there for me, and I like your company too.” 

“Come on,” Shuuichi says coaxingly, standing and offering Natsume a hand up, Natsume lets Shuuichi pull him up and stays close, “Hiiragi will have taken care of that yokai by now. Let’s get you home.”

Natsume nods understandingly, coming with easily. Shuuichi hopes he feels better, truly better, soon, there’s no way Natsume could ever be unwanted anymore, he thinks, as he leads the way to home.


End file.
